2009-10-03
Gas Mask Bra: "We'll Die If You Don't Take Your Bra Off!"
Best pickup line EVER! But it's not necessarily just a pickup line anymore. At this year's Ig Nobel Prize Awards Ceremony, the prize for best discovery in Public Health went to Dr. Elena Bodnar for creating a bra that turns into a pair of gas masks. I kid you not!
Dr. Bodnar, a native of Ukraine currently living in Chicago (I told you this was the greatest city in the world), began her medical career studying the aftermath of the Chernobyl disaster and the effect Iodine-131 had on those unfortunate souls who inhaled it. In a lot of ways, that's what inspired Bodnar's Bra. If the people had access to readily available gas masks in the wake of the incident, a lot of people could have been saved from the gas.
"You have to be prepared all the time, at any place, at any moment, and practically every woman wears a bra."
Unless you work on the Late Show!
Another example of when the bras might have come in handy was in the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center when the buildings collapsed and enormous rolling clouds of dust and debris overcame thousands of innocent people, many of who are suffering from respiratory problems today.
The bras could also be a hit in Israel. Every time one of their Arab neighbors gets mad at either them or the United States, the Israeli and American governments issue hundreds of thousands of gas masks to the civilian population. Obviously, when the rockets don't come or when they do come but don't have Chemical or Biological warheads on board, the masks are sold to paranoid Americans, collectors, and allergy sufferers around the world. Thus, when the next angry regime threatens Israel, our governments have to re-issue the gas masks. However, with Dr. Bodnar's Bra that converts into a pair of gas masks, the Israelis would be given a self-defense tool with a practical purpose and something that would be difficult to sell after you've used it.
I can also see this becoming the bra of choice for liberal protesters and stone throwers around the globe. After all, how many times do you see people running away because their government threw tear gas into the angry crowd? At least once a week! Well, with Bodnar's Bra, the protester can not only protect herself, but also a friend! In fact, if the women of Iran had been wearing these, there's a good chance Ahmadinejad and Khomeini would have been overthrown after the rigged election.
Dr. Bodnar has perhaps invented the greatest tool for spreading democracy around the world! She is truly an American hero!
Archived Comments
Brian D
Wow that is both innovative and practical. I don't think even MacGyver could have came up with this one. Now not only can the removal of a womans undergarments lead to the creation of life, it can actually save a life. I am already working on dual use panties.
Laurie
They should have named this story the "7 Figure Booby Prize"? the "Over-the-Shoulder-Smolder-Holder?" I, like Brian D, am reevaluating EVERYTHING in my closet for possible scientific breakthroughs.
