Kevin Tracy Seeks The Proliferation of Bidets!

According to rectal surgeons, wiping your butt can cause serious injuries. Additionally, as we all experienced during Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020, we don't always have the tools we need to wipe our butts if we don't want to dig poop out of our fingernails before resuming our daily activies, like most of the world. Even when there's not a toilet paper shortage in the store, how embarassing is it to rush to the bathroom to empty your bowels and that moment of physical relief is ruined by the emotional stress of not having any toilet paper in the bathroom? Calling for more toilet paper lets the world know what you've done, and yes, Everybody Poops but we're still largely ashamed of it. Imagine a world where you didn't have to shout past the door for an extra roll of TP!

Imagine a world where you didn't have to shove your hand between your butt cheeks to repeatedly smear poo all over your bottom until it stops appearing on the paper. Imagine a world where the indignity of wiping your butt was a thing of the past!

That world is at our fingertips thanks to the bidet!

I got a Tushy as a joke Christmas gift in 2018. It sat under my sink until late 2020, after the Great Toilet Paper shortage was mostly over. After it was installed, my life radically changed.

Bidets work by squirting fresh tap water (from the wall, not the toilet) on your butthole. Shifting your weight side to side and back and forward while it runs is all it takes to clean your butt. When you're done, your butt feels like your just showered it.

After using a bidet, pooping anywhere else without a bidet just feels dirty, unclean, and totally savage. It's not uncommon for bidet users to plan their day to always be near a house that has a bidet in case the urge to poop strikes.

Sadly, there are still times when the urge is so urgent that you can't make it to your safe house.

Tushy, who should be sponsoring KTracy.com after this, does make a travel bidet, but it's not practical for several reasons.

Instead, bidets should come standard in all toilets sold in the United States. Bidets should also be added to the list of required appliances in every bathroom.

Bidets attachments to toilets are not so expensive that they would break the bank. Additionally, having them pre-installed in every toilet will also save money on each unit, making the increase in toilet cost minimal.

Making This Less-Crappy, Clean New World

To make this development a reality, we must proliferate the bidet!

Talk about bidets! Sing the bidet's praises with pride (you probably won't be able to stop yourself)! Buy bidets for your loved ones! Friends don't let friends smear poo on their butt cheeks!

The more people who experience bidet cleaned butts, the easier it will be to standardize the bidet in all toilets!